Illumination

I'm writing this in a sort of anxious mood. I'm anxious because I'm slightly unsure. My path is not predictable and lit. I can't see down the road I'm standing on, but I know where I stand. It could be scary and frightening, but it's not. I could go back where I came from, because I know what's there. It's familiar, it's safe; but I won't. Besides, my curiosity won't let me. At this point, I'm blazing my own trails, making it up as I go along. There's a goal of course. There is somewhere that I know I want to go, and the goal I think, at this point, will be reached. But the uncertainty comes from not knowing exactly how that goal will be reached.

Would most go back amidst the unsure-ness? Maybe, I'm not sure because I'm not most people. I heard somewhere that nature loves courage. I've also heard that sometimes you have to take a leap into the dark unknown only to find you've lept into a bed of feathers. I'm not sure what I'm leaping into, but it seems like I almost have no choice but to take the leap. For it is the fact that the road is dark and unexplored that makes me want to illuminate it with my discoveries.

I can't be stagnant. I can't be satisfied with what is just here. Don't get me wrong, it's great, but I could be doing my future-selves a great disservice if I don't see where my roads go. I owe a lot to my former selves because it was their courage that got me this far. And by former selves I mean the younger me's. The 22 year old who took chances, the 18 year old who took chances, the 25 year old that took chances. There is much that binds all of us, but one of the strongest factors of all is our abilities to take the fearless leaps and tumble our ways into the next sections of our existence.

So now I stare down that road, knowing that I know am the pivot point for all the ones to come, and I don't want to disappoint any of them. How can I? I have a lot to live up to. It's tough not knowing, but it's just as easy walking it, and doing what I do best...illuminating it.